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You wouldn’t BELIEVE how awesome today was!
So, there I was, sleeping like a little angel. Well, an angel who snores. Really loudly. I heard a noise, which just so happened to be Grendel eating one of my Geat warriors. Sad day for that guy. Grendel then turned to me, but just as he grabbed me, I pounced. Like a cat. JK, JK. I wrestled Grendel to the ground and beat the mucus out of him. About half-way through the fight, I decided to use my signature move: the rib-cracking bear hug. The monstrous lump started shrieking his head off, which seriously annoyed me.
So I ripped off his arm.
Somehow that fatally wounded him. I’m still not sure how that worked. Did he bleed to death? Either way, he ran off and died in a cave. He forgot to take his arm though, so I kept it as a trophy and hung it on a wall where everyone could see it and rejoice
at my awesomeness that Grendel was dead.
The next morning, the Danes celebrated the demon’s death, and sang songs about my great conquest. Hrothgar thanked me and said that my victory disproved Unferth’s claims that I was weak. I told him I was sad that I hadn’t killed Grendel here, so the entire body could be a trophy.
Well, I gotta go help with the repairs to the great hall. Which were mostly my fault. (oops)